CIRCLE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS
THE WAY IT IS
Scott Peck, in A World Waiting to be Born, states that “whenever there is a relationship between two or more people, an organization of some sort is involved.” An organization of two people who decide to make a commitment to attempt to maintain the organization is called a marriage. When two people get married they make a commitment to a vocation. This vocation is the foundation of the family and is made up of organizational creatures that make daily choices.
Accordingly, our choices have an affect just like a pebble tossed into the pond changes the water in the pond. We observe this by watching the ripples in the water. This changes the formation and behavior of the pond. Constantly the water moves and stirs the base beneath the surface. So too, human choices have an effect on everyone within and outside of the organization. Some of the affects are obvious and some are not. Scott tells us that “if a component element changes, then the whole system must change, whether subtly or dramatically” and “if the system changes, the component elements must also change.” Page 140
Equally important, families and organizations, have a social structure, culture and personality. These fundamentals change constantly within a family as siblings become adults and parents become older and days pass by. Often there are various stages of change within the family for sometimes it is difficult to diagnose problems, establish a plan of action and over come resistance to change.
Subsequently fear keeps one from changing. This resistance to change is a barrier to organizational health and growth and affects the culture of an organization. The culture is not a ritual or ceremonies but it’s a way of life such as policy, sanctions of authority, leadership, and communication. Leadership within the organization is powerful. One can either influence by political power through the use of coercion which resides in money and position or influence by spiritual power by one’s own being - by example, by kindness, by humor, by wisdom, by love which resides in the person and character.
Consequently, leaders in the families and organization have the power of elevating or degrading the human possibilities. Debasing assumptions debase human beings; generous assumptions exalt them. This can be humiliating and shameful for members of an organization. Secrets are often kept that corrupt, corrode and eventually destroy the organization if not addressed.
After all, families, like people, have a dark side too that’s not always visible. Carl Jung describes this as “the ‘Shadow’ to designate that part of our mind containing those things that we would rather not own up to: traits that we are not only trying to hide from others, but also from ourselves, that we are continually trying to sweep under the rug of consciousness.” Once we acknowledge and embrace the “Shadow” the family collectively begins to heal.
In conclusion, healing and “Miracles” in organizations occur when we finally acknowledge the gremlins in the closet. When we awaken from the dream of thinking we are separate. You can’t change your perception of something if you don’t know what it is that needs to change. Once you acknowledge what needs to change then the gremlins don’t have power over us and we can let them go. We can walk through our fear and allow the LOVE within to be our guide and then “Teach only love, for that is what we are”.
References: Peck, M. Scott, "A World Waiting to be Born", Bantam Books, New York, 1993
Forgiveness is the vehicle for changing our perception.
A LOVE STORY
Happy Jack and Happy Jackie fell in love.
They got married in November of 1946.
In 17 years they had 14 children.
That's me, the second oldest child.
Many years have passed and now there are 38 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren
our fanily continues to grow.
Any One Can Count the Seeds in An Apple,
But Only God Can Count The Apples
in A Seed.
My significant other and I have three children. I sometimes call them
my engine, my middle, and my caboose.
Being a parent has been the most challenging, yet rewarding, work I have ever done.
Thank you Sarah, Jennifer and Andrew for allowing me to be your mother.
END OF STORY